Now I've finished lurking...

[galba]

I have been a member for a couple of months and I've posted a few bits, so now I suppose it is time to introduce myself.

They say the child is the father of the man. Well, I had an unhappy and dysfunctional childhood. At school I was the bullied misfit. In later life I was the bullied misfit.

In later years I moved away from this bullying environment. The bullying absent, I was able to get myself together.

Now I might sound like I'm thinking of myself as the innocent victim here. Well, to degree I was. I am also the "victim" of my own bad life choices. I know it is my responsibility to get myself sorted. No one else can do it for me.

Currently, I am a forty-year old virgin, out of shape and generally at the end of the line. Cheerful reading huh?

I now getting me sorted. I started going out and being more sociable. My social skills and confidence are improving. I'm exercising and folks laugh at the fat fool on his bicycle - who cares?

Way back in May this year I was surfing the net on the subject of virginity generally when I stumbled across this phrase involuntary celibacy. Intrigued I clicked on the links and that is how I found this website.

There was me thinking I was the only one.

Thanks to the Internet and reading others' words I now beginning to emerge from the confusing maelstrom that has blighted my life so far.

My life is a mess because my mind is a mess.

If you don't understand yourself, the world around you and how the two interact - well, you're screwed. That's the sum of my experience.

Using the experiences, ideas and constructs of others I am now getting my mind in order, getting my life in order. I can see where things went wrong and how to put them right.

There is an old saying: he who knows himself is enlightened; he who conquers himself is mighty.

I am now more self enlightened and it's a good thing. Though I'm so sure about the self-conquering bit.

Well, thanks for reading and getting bored.

[Gray]

Welcome.

Lots of people come here the way you did. Unhappy childhood is a big part of the making of many incels.

What part of the UK are you in? There's many members on this board from the UK. Let us get to know you.

You're taking steps to help yourself, which is good. Don't overthink it; be action oriented towards doing things to beat social isolation and incel. But you're in the right place.

P.S. Tell us about your nick. I'm guessing it's a literary reference, but I don't recognize it.

[Dirtracer]

Your life may be a mess because of your mind. The mind can be changed. It could take some time and effort but improving it will improve your life.

Welcome.

[Phytophilia]

Originally Posted by galba

Using the experiences, ideas and constructs of others I am now getting my mind in order, getting my life in order. I can see where things went wrong and how to put them right.

Welcome, Galba.

What you've written above is very hopeful. It really is possible to make big improvements. I'm glad you've found some helpful ideas here so far and I hope we can continue to help you.

[galba]

Servius Sulpicius Galba was a Roman general. A rather inept and bloodthirsty one. He tried to put down an uprising by taking a kill 'em all let Jupiter sort 'em out attitude. He only managed to upset the rebelous plebs all the more.

I'm not quite sure why I choose Galba, perhaps it because I'm not very good at war games.

Currently, I am living in the West Midlands.

Yeah, my mind ain't so messed up as it was. I now recognise that I less socially clumsly to what I was just a few years ago and I'm becoming more life confident as a result.

Thanks to all.

[UkulelePlayer]

Originally Posted by Gray

Don't overthink it; be action oriented towards doing things to beat social isolation and incel.

Welcome galba, and here! here! to Gray's post. Alot of us are blighted with over-thinking things... sometimes we've just got to get out there and do something sociable.

Hope to hear more from you

[taxcut]

Originally Posted by galba

Yeah, my mind ain't so messed up as it was. I now recognise that I less socially clumsly to what I was just a few years ago and I'm becoming more life confident as a result.

Sounds like you're on the right track.
Welcome to the board!

[privateuniverse]

Originally Posted by galba

Well, thanks for reading and getting bored.

Not bored at all.
Reading people talk about their lives is both instructive and interesting in itself.

[Rich]

Welcome to the board fellow Blightyite...I hope you find the help you are looking for! How is life in Birmingham nowadays?

[BrokenButterfly]

Welcome! I hope to read more from you